Imagine being in the midst of a sparkling blue ocean.
A warm breeze kissing your cheek. No other vessels in sight. In that moment you feel completely free. In that freedom, you become aware of neurons firing, existentially experiencing a new neural pathway in your brain being created. A new way, a new direction.The foundation has been laid.
You decide to follow-curious & excited.
Your attention is on the wonder of a new life-a follow on from where you are. It begins to build a new reality. It delivers a promise that you can have peace & calm. You can live a life you always wanted.Then those same neural pathways connect you with what it feels like to be in, no under the blue.
Sometimes scared, unsure, in awe of what is around you. Hearing only your breath and bubbles from the regulator. As you look around you become aware of the different surroundings you are in. How the water feels as it trickles inside your mouth. Your thoughts, your aloneness, your connection to the wonder that is the underwater world. You check your regulator, aware of the amount of air in your tank. You calm your breath, breathe in, breathe out. Seeing the hand of your instructor as he offers the motion as you learn the new skill underneath the water in the pool. Shadowy strangers walk by as you look up, then you once again connect with his eyes. Suddenly your mind reconnects with where you are – the warmth of the water around you. Sounds of parrot fish nibbling on coral. The sight of a barracuda cruising by in a haze of plankton laden blue. Observing beneath you, the spiny sea urchins – knowing your buoyancy is key to not just keeping you safe but the environment you are fortunate to find yourself in. It is a place full of wonder and colour-serene yet vibrant busy and silent. At the end of your scuba dive, on breaking the surface, like the water itself, the tension is gone as the sun quickly warms a face. You feel joy. Happiness. There is no stress only a relaxation. The body is tired, the mind is still, the azure still wrapped around you but the cumbersome weight of the equipment becomes more acute. You inflate your BCD as the water laps around your mouth and splashes towards your eyes but all is good. All is serene. You are tired and at one with your environment.
How does that sound to you. Does the blue attract you like it does me?
I’ve been talking about risk this morning. How standing on the precipice and looking out onto the blue can be such a scary experience.
It reminded me of when I decided to abseil down the civic centre in my home town. Initially, the thought seemed like a good one. I was doing the abseil for charity and I didn’t really give it to much thought after that, until I was in the elevator riding to the roof to leap off.
The anxiety began to palpitate. The adrenalin pumped round my brain and body. As I stepped into the harness and sat on the edge, leaning backwards out into nothing, I felt absolutely terrified. The man holding my rope, asked me not to look in his eyes. That was enough to make me feel worse. Yet, I didn’t consider not doing it. I was attached. I was there. I was going over the edge.
In that moment I stepped off. Strapped on – so without great fault, no falling was to happen but as I did so, I recognised the competence in me to do what I’d learnt and follow through until I reached the bottom.
Within those first couple of steps, I realised that I didn’t enjoy abseiling. It wasn’t for me and as I continued down, slipping and sliding my feet across the tinted, glass windows, I steadily and slowly touched my tiptoes onto the pavement. My harness was removed.
I held certainty in my grasp that this held no allure for me.
Today has reminded me that it’s just a ride and relaxing into it is the key..
What have you experienced today which has brought life back into perspective?