I’ve been on the golf course this morning – having a group lesson with the golf pro. We were practicing putting and thinking about perception.

The question he asked was ‘How do you judge where the golf ball is going to roll on the green?’

Walking to where he was standing, I had an idea we could see it by following the lay of the grass between club, ball and hole. It wasn’t a wrong answer but it also wasn’t the full answer.

‘Bob down.’ He said.

As I did so – the lay of the green opened up totally and I was able to see lumps and bumps that I couldn’t before – I was able to make a better judgement about speed, direction and accuracy, with this new information to hand.

Next he laid out the cones for some accuracy practice.

I observed the space between each pair of cones reduce on one particular hole. My eyes were on the obstacles – as I realised the space I had to play through was much smaller at the end, than at the beginning.

Again, I felt the pressure of having to hit the ball through such a reduced area.

‘You’re focusing on the wrong things.’ he told me.

‘If there were no cones there, then the ball at the angle you’re hitting it, would pass wide of the hole.

‘Yet – you’re also focusing on the obstacle, which is making your putt seem far more difficult than it is. You need to align your putter correctly, judge the right speed to the hole you’re aiming for and hit it on the right line. Then you will have success. It won’t matter, if an obstacle is there or not!’

If you’re a golfer – you’ll know that this is far easier said than done! 

It all seemed to make sense though – one of the most important aspects of my play, was not letting the sometimes very real or mental obstacles get in my way of achieving the result I wanted, but if I didn’t address the ball in the correct way, then it was going to cause me all sorts of frustration and I’m sure you’ve experienced frustration in what you’re doing, in both golf and life.

 

So how do I do this?

I’m sure you ask yourself many times a day.

I know I did until I learnt one simple skill.

You have to figure out your priorities. This can be easier said than done, when on any particular day, the priorities seem to be piling up.

See how this routes back round, when you’re an achievement orientated person who is surviving rather than thriving. The circles become ever decreasing, unless you know how to expand and contract. This is where you need to figure out, what matters most on any particular occasion or in any given moment and then deliberately create space for it.

Peddling throughout the day and then arriving home in the evening to sink on the sofa in front of the TV, is a good way to relax on some days! It can be perceived as a totally different experience if consciously committed to, rather than continuously fought against, thinking you have to behave a certain way to have it all.

If you change your point of view and think about your purpose and say, for example, what you are attempting to achieve within your family and life – you can remove the peer pressure. Enjoy the snuggles on the sofa. Start building what is important to you and find a way to adapt, adjust and create what you want and need, whether it’s within your life, career, business, family or relationship.

Do you know what you value most within your life and what you are willing to give up to ensure it remains a priority and comes first for you?

If you’ve read my previous post on self efficacy  then building on these steps are one of the first and most important things you can do.

If you commit to yourself and the life you want to lead, then the obstacles will show themselves in varied and interesting ways.

It’s your responsibility to step up. Take charge of dealing with, feeling it, or working through those obstacles. Be strong. Be empowered.

Be the change, you want to see. In your world!