In 2007 I travelled the world with two children and a husband.
Before this journey I had always been frightened of flying. Although each time we went abroad, I did it. Because the thought of sailing to the places I wanted to go, meant I would have needed to take even more time off work than I could get, to enable me to do so. So the motivation to do what I wanted within my life was there but to a much smaller scale and for this purpose in a way, I didn’t necessarily recognise or understand it.
So taking my kids out of secondary school, giving up a position as a Lecturer in Counselling whilst practicing as a Therapist within the NHS, was a big deal to me. The decision was not made lightly, although very necessary at the time. A period of self care was in order. My life had become consumed with caring for others in one way or another and I longed to spend some time with me. I loved me and this time was long over due but it did not mean, leaving behind my family. That for me was not an option or a choice I would choose.
As we travelled, I began to feel happy and this didn’t mean that the difficulties I had been dealing with had gone away. What it did mean was that I had time to enjoy the things I love – be stimulated by a new environment. Challenged by new experiences and do it all with the people I love the most. My children and husband.
The reason the happiness was able to grow and develop within, was due to me building faith and confidence in my choices and decisions for me as a person. I was developing self-efficacy
Life in my teenage years had dealt me a few tough and extremely damaging blows, but it has not been until I have trained to become a therapist, travelled extensively and practiced within the profession that I have grown exponentially as an Individual, a Therapist and a Wellbeing Practitioner.
Another part of developing confidence within, is being able to recognise that
what you focus on grows
Have you ever watched the news on a daily basis and listened to it grinding on about the bad with no focus on the good. Or have you met people who only focus on the psychological positive. That mentally they have convinced themselves they’re happy but that’s all it is. Brainwashing.
There’s a lot going on inside. Think iceberg… and they haven’t got a clue about it.
Iceberg photo – Paperlief.com
A lot of what you do and why you do it, is hidden below the surface, It’s a place of wonder and adventure, danger and excitement. Scare and uncertainty but it is a place that is a privilege to go…
Where my field of excellence comes in – is being able to intertwine the wants with the needs, to help individuals build constructive lives. Ones that encompass meaning and purpose, combined with happiness, freedom and security. So that like me – you too can become ever changing, whilst never changing. Always remain who you are, whilst becoming who you are meant to be, as you grow throughout life.
As we travelled in Australia, a place which I had been fascinated with as a child. I was able to permit myself the luxury of connecting with the things that held meaning for me deep within.
Family – I was able to share with my children and husband, the place I had always wanted to visit. To give them options of different places to live. Community is something I recognise as important and has value for all of us.
I was able to take them to the Great Barrier Reef and fulfill a lifetime desire to visit this natural wonder of the world. Sail on it, learn about it (Reef Teach-Cairns). Swim in it & explore its wondrous depths.
Exploring wildlife and nature with the animals:think koala, alligators and kangaroo. To the birds: kookaburra, kites & rainbow lorakeet.
From the indigenous communities and Australia’s aborigine and settler history to the development of the country in the modern day. It’s places to visit and food and drink to try. This education held more relevance to me as a parent, with my own philosophy as it was experiential.
The more I was able to focus on these changes happening with my life, on our travels, my children in their education and watching the relaxation of my husband in the process, meant that our change in focus as a family, changed much in my thinking.
- I discovered that doing what you want in life takes courage and responsibility.
- Puts you on a path which serves up your fears to be acknowledged – treated with compassion, listened to and then dealt with.
- Helps you let go of mental control, the desire for power and have more faith in living your own life.
- Allows you to personally create, develop and establish to what you would like to do and achieve professionally. Especially in midlife when having grown and taken care of a family.
I learnt, to change your focus. It is best to experientially change your life. This theory works well with addiction, because of the world built around drugs and alcohol.
Sometimes you just need to change certain elements or tweak something here and there. At other times, you need to go back to the fundamentals and start again. You have to be willing to do the work to gain the results. Its as easy as that. Simple..