Descartes is famously quoted as saying, ‘I think, therefore I am.’

I have a bit of a different take on this line which is, ‘I am, therefore I think.’

Training as a therapist – I would sit and ponder how being pregnant and delivering a baby – then getting to know that baby and attempt to understand their personality, needs and wants, led me to thinking a little differently about this.

Before there was my baby, there was pure consciousness – a thought – then a creation.

From that creation, there evolved a being which is human. This human needed me for everything at the start and as much as I was taking notice of what the professionals were telling me – I was also taking notice of my child combined with my intuition, instinct, feeling, emotion and thought process. This child expressed itself through feelings and emotions.

I had difficulty breast feeding when my son was born – the hospital worked with me to help me get him to latch on, this was proving difficult and as he was only 6lb 3 oz when born, his weight quickly dropped to just over 5lb. The clinicans would take him away in the mornings and provide a sample blood test by delivering a sharp prick in his heel. It took me two days of listening to my baby scream in a such a particular way – that as a Mother, I knew enough was enough. He was not going to go through this any more.

My choice – my decision.

My listening skills in the changing of his cries as the process happened. This was the start of me figuring out the information I needed to function as a parent.

I trusted myself as the primary guide to developing wellbeing within my children and focused on the services and professionals within society, to utilise as a tool and guide when reaching stuck points but I always knew when what they were telling me was prescriptive and not something which had my child or parenting to mind.

Travel extended this insight further, as I recognise the change in focus helped me to become a happier person but it was what I was experiencing. which was providing stimulation & fun.  I was able to look at what had gone before, to bring me to this point and think about what direction I wanted to move in, for the future. My guide – my compass. It had always been there.. I knew it but now was consciously aware of it.

To be able to find one thing a day, which doesn’t make you grey, builds on the philosophy of travel. Not everyday was rainbows and daises. Not every hour was full of misery either. Each day I could pick out something good which had happened and connect it with the feeling inside. This enabled me to consciously recognise the next thing and the next thing – as this happened my gaze began to shift, as my eyes opened to the wonder of what I was doing and my intellect was able to absorb, reflect, gather insight and continue deciding on the constructive benefits of the actions I was taking.

Here was how I developed the insight into self efficacy .

This is how, you can begin to create the change you want to see in your life.

You need to develop faith in the process, as it may not go to plan or seem like it is transforming into what you intended but this is where the faith comes in – as you align with yourself and the universe ( I know a bit sounds a bit hippy but it is not intended that way.) and your own needs and wants. Then you begin the process of allowing life to transform you and what is around you, into what you need it to be, which brings you in line with what you desire.

When you’ve been bringing up a family, at times the energy you hold, has been used keeping everything thing running tickedy boo and in one place. Sure, there will have been changes but you know from the feeling inside you – that on committing to the role of parent, you’ve committed to something more.

Now, you’re coming out of the other side.

Life is beginning to loosen up again and you need to find a way, oh and of course, one thing which doesn’t make you grey, to begin the next stage of your life and development.

My one thing for today is playing with the moon jellyfish on the shoreline, of my little home town of southend on sea. They’re blooming and I loved the time I spent with them, as the sun shone and temperate water, lapped my waist.

Yesterday, it was finding the washing, folded neatly in a pile in the washing basket, on my bed, when I came home from a weekend away. My son had taken the time and energy to do it all carefully. I felt his love for me, in that moment.

So go ahead.

Push the boat out.

Create the change.

Find one thing a day which doesn’t make you grey.

Oh and hey, if you need a little help in doing so. Drop me a line…