Why Is Relaxation Fearful For Some During Our Global Crisis

I was thinking about this subject this morning.

Some people I know are enjoying the time spent at home – they’ve brought their work into the place they love to be most, their family are home and they enjoy spending time with themselves indoors.

Someone said to me ‘I like my own company, so being indoors isn’t a problem for me.’ I like my own company but enjoy being outdoors, so if I am in the house for too much of the day – it can become really stressful rather than relaxing. At this moment, I feel very fortunate to be out in my garden, in the conservatory – working up a sweat as the sun beats in but I also recognise not everyone has this. All our levels are different.

Yet on this very morning I found a purpose through a video I’ve watched, which has inspired me. In the words of Viktor Frankl…

In times of crisis, people reach for meaning. Meaning is strength. Our survival may depend on our seeking and finding it.


The purpose I have found allows me to balance being in, with the short period of time I can go out in the UK. That one exercise period per day has led me to become inventive in how I create purpose and meaning in my life through this period.

It also led me to think about why relaxation is fearful for some and I reflect on my years as a Therapist, working outside and within the field of addiction. Knowing that there are many who keep busy to stay away from themselves. Many feel vulnerable, uncomfortable or even downright anxious, when they connect to an inner part which needs some tender love and healing.

I know for me personally – I have to watch my use of the computer because at times when I am fearful, I can bury myself into it. I carefully use it now and recognise when it has gone from being a tool to being a distraction away from something I am personally experiencing. A black hole in which I can loop continuously.

This tells me to breathe deeply and take a few moments to do something else.

If I can, something physical.

Look within and take some time out to do something else, which enables me to allow what is going on for me to naturally bubble up to the surface.

I’m fortunate in the way that I know myself deeply enough to sit with the discomfort when it arises and comfort myself in the same way I would a friend. To know yourself, is to grow yourself.

So if you’re one of those people who needs to be constantly busy or asleep. There is respite to be had in the middle but I’d simply say – learn to do it in very small doses. Think about how you speak to yourself – use gentle words to cherish yourself and when you find yourself falling back into the ingrained habit of berating yourself for not being perfect, then give yourself a gentle hug for being perfectly imperfect and repeat the internal dialogue from a gentle perspective once again. We can all form new habits, right? Understand the neuroscience of change has given me insight into that!

So remember – meditation doesn’t have to be done in a chair. It can be found weeding a flower bed and doing the washing up. Any task which is mindful, can bring you back and if the behaviours, feelings or thoughts become to strong. Reach out for help. Believe me there is truth in the saying ‘ a trouble shared is a trouble halved,’ the important thing is to choose wisely who to share with.

If you’re really having trouble message me – lets see what solution we can find together. Like I said – I’ve just figured out my purpose for this period. I’ll share a little more with you. Once i’m rolling with it. For now, I’m keeping it under wraps 🙂





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