I arrived at the pool for my next session, it had been a couple of weeks since the last time I’d scuba dived and so I was feeling a little nervous but at this point-knew this was normal. I was still trying to judge my timing of arrival, so that I didn’t hang around too long, yet at the same time be there early enough to ensure I could choose the right equipment.

This time, I arrived in plenty of time, or so I thought and found myself facing only one BCD available, which was a medium, not my normal size. Luckily it fitted and I was able to find fins which suited.

My instructor was different this week, but I realised this could be a good thing and on hindsight realise how a blip, bump or change can affect the skills learnt in my previous session. Recognising my need again to have an element of control in the process. To enable me to feel safe and secure.

This also relates to conversation. As we chatted away, I realised I couldn’t talk and concentrate on the task in hand. As I needed all my concentration skills, when it came to putting together tank and BCD. Something which is challenging for me. When it comes to scuba diving – I need to concentrate on just one thing at a time when kitting up.

One of the tools my instructor Cerys, gave me the last time I was on a lesson, was to buy a white board to use underwater – also to remind myself about the process of checks I needed to go through, to ensure they were done. This was a handy aside!

In other circumstances multi-tasking is always a possibility. I suppose it reminded me where my strengths and weakness lay and gave me a nudge to remind myself when with others more confident than me – to let them know my relationship needs, in a particular situation. Clear communication whether under or above the water, I’m recognising is really important to me and what I like to offer to others also.

For some reason during this session I struggled with my buoyancy – although the instructor said it was fine

• I couldn’t relax comfortably into propelling myself through the water, whilst staying in a neutral position.
• I felt I was tipping from one side to the next.
• The positive out of the session. I mastered the frog kick, which I felt mighty proud of.

Marie told me that my buoyancy was ok but I knew and felt something was off. In the change of instructor, I knew I’d lost my voice a little and am aware that I could of spoken up earlier but for some reason on this lesson I didn’t. Not wanting to beat myself up about this, because none of us are perfect, right and in areas which are our weaknesses, it can sometimes be harder to deal with and learn from them straight away.

I’ve recognised from the session, that I need to understand and assert my needs as a diver, right from the side of the pool or the boat. Yet I also need to look out for the instructor capabilities, experience and understanding. Prepare and deal with all elements. The only sure fire way I can see to move through this totally, is to spend more time scuba diving – so my confident is built up in the doing.

In the meantime:

1. I need to to inform the instructor of my needs in the process. Even if I just need to ask that we don’t speak as I prepare my kit.
2. Even though I was being told I was fine, this was a testament to my ability in holding myself stable, even in a difficult situation. Yet looks can be deceiving.
3. I need to address with the other person, the challenges I am having, even if they are not recognising them. So I can learn, we can adapt and then move on.

We decided that I would have a go at mask clearing on this session – which I did ok for full and half fill – I could initially feel my panic when water dribbled into my mask and needed to keep myself calm in the process of emptying but even as I write this, I realise that I wasn’t that deep anyway and if I needed to surface without my mask on, in the pool it wasn’t a big deal. A task which needs to be done again to ensure I have mastered the skill properly and dealt with the fear as it arises.

And when Marie’s tank slipped in her strap, I was reminded of the brute strength needed to deal with some of the physical aspects of diving and its equipment.

All in all, it was another good session and all the learning I can apply to life and use the approaches when dealing with clients as a Therapist.

Life is not always perfect-but we can always find a way for life to teach us something. To create a spiritual practice out of a human experience.

Onward to session number 4…