The framework with which we are given, by our parents and society, does not necessarily mean that this is the framework which we need to live by for ourselves or necessarily needs to be the framework to live within for our whole lives.

Developing a conscious mental framework can be one of the most challenging tasks to take on. As the subconscious one has already established itself within our synapses and neural pathways. But this does not mean that as healthy, adult, human beings, that we don’t have the opportunity to create change.

When you realise that life has become about surviving rather than thriving – then you know that something needs to be different. It does take work and effort. Yet this muscle is also built in the process. It isn’t a requirement to have it from the start.

Being kind to yourself at this point is important, because change doesn’t happen over night and you need to find a direction and a way – it’s this exploration which keeps you walking towards and implementing the mental framework you’d like to live by.

At this point – I would like to change the thinking around the famous expression by Rene Descartes. ‘I think, therefore I am,’ and turn this on its head. I am therefore I think. It is the internal/the implicit which drives us forward. If we are willing to build a strong relationship.

As you get to know yourself, so you have the opportunity to grow yourself.

If you can learn to recognise the implicit essence that is you – in division to the rest of yourself which has the ability to be ever changing. Then you can understand the power within, which helps you along the way, as you build new experience and in turn create a new mental framework.

This plasticity can be both a frightening and a heartening scenario. How we choose to behave and think, and what we choose to view and take into our mind, affects not only our present reality but also (implicitly) the wiring of our brain. We have the capacity to condition ourselves: our character is under our own control. “With thoughts empowered this way,” notes LeDoux, “we can begin to see how the way we think about ourselves can have powerful influences on the way we are, and who we become.” In other words, science is beginning to recognize that we are, to a greater or lesser extent, personally responsible for who we are and what we become.                                                       Professor Joseph LeDoux – American Neuroscientist. 

I would like to add to this, that the emotions (or lack of them) and vulnerabilities which are at play during our lives, are part of what we need as human beings to inform us, if our navigational system is in tune with our internal & relational desire and needs.

Bringing a life into being can be tough. Ask any woman who has been pregnant and given birth. For some it can be joyous and easy. For others it may be challenging. I know  for me – it zapped my energy. Made me sleep a lot and allowed me to experience one of the most euphoric moments of my life, immediately after birth. The stress, the pain, the anguish and the strain were all worth it. But we also know that pregnancy and childbirth are a small part of the whole. There is so much more involved in becoming a parent and raising a child.

Creating changes within our brain, to assist us with moving forward in developing a new way of living, does not mean we have to tear down the routes and pathways already there. What we need to do is from where we are, begin to build new ones in.

Create a constructive foundation, so that there becomes a natural point when we let go of the societal system and step directly and independently into our own trade winds.

• The one and only thing you can do is take the next best logical step.
• This helps you to solve the immediate problem and lead yourself forward.
• Trust is an important element here. As you consistently reground yourself within your own life, rather than looking to externals to solve and influence. (How much do you trust yourself?)
•  Once you have changed the focus and direction of your life – you then have to continually take the steps forward to lead yourself onward and embed the experiential learning you are receiving.
• Your conscious mind will not have the pathway laid. So it’ll be a little bit like when you go on holiday and everything is different. You have to trust your gut, look for the signposts and move at a different pace, to be taken where you want to go.
• It can make change feel slow going at times.
• Maybe you’ll need a guide for a part of the journey, to help you make the most of the trip.
• Yet, once you’ve taken steps towards your choices, and dealt with obstacles as they come. Life becomes less frustrating, you become more composed, develop another level of confidence and so take another step.

There you have in simple terms, how you create a new mental framework, find a new way to live and move from surviving into thriving.

Are you willing to give it a go?